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SynopsisEdit

Ninja Turtles sell chocolate bars.

TranscriptEdit

  • [Michelangelo is sitting inside of his mailbox humming. He checks his watch. The mailman opens the mailbox]
  • Michelangelo: HI, MAILMAN!
  • [The mailman yells in fear, and runs off]
  • Michelangelo: OK, [gets out of the mailbox] see you tomorrow!
  • [Leonardo, Donatello and Raphael walks up]
  • Leonardo: Hey, the mail's here! What did you get?
  • Michelangelo: Let's see... [Looks through the mail] mail, mail, mail, mail, mail, mail, Hey! A magazine!
  • [Michelangelo looks at the magazine]
  • Michelangelo: Look at this it saids here how to be a sellsmen.
  • Ninja Turtles: [They look inside the magazine] WHOOOOOOOOOAAAAH!!
  • Donatello: What are do now, Michelangelo?
  • Michelangelo: We gotta becomes entrepreneurs! Quick bros, without thinking, if you could have anything in the world right now, what would it be?
  • Raphael: A chocolate bar?
  • Michelangelo: That's a great idea, Raph! We'll become traveling chocolate bar salesmen!
  • [The scene changes to Ninja Turtles exiting the market carrying many chocolate bars]
  • Ninja Turtles: Fancy living, here we come! Lalalalala!
  • Leonardo: Make way for a couple of entrepreneurs! [He pronounces it "ontre-prenyouers". Ninja Turtles walk up to a apartment]
  • Michelangelo: O.K. bros, this is it! The first step on our road to living fancy! Just follow my lead.
  • [Michelangelo runs up and knocks on the door, Benson the fish opens the door]
  • Michelangelo: Good afternoon sir, could we interest you in some [holds up chocolate bar] chocolate?
  • Benson: Chocolate? Did you say, Chocolate?!
  • Raphael: Yes sir. With or without nuts?
  • Benson: Chocolate?! CHOCOLATE?!?!?! CHOCOLAAAAAAAAAAATE!!!! CHOCOLAAAAAAAAAAAATE!!!!!
  • [Ninja Turtles slowly back away, and then run off. Benson chases them while madly screaming: "CHOCOLAAATE!!!". The scene cuts to Michelangelo ringing the doorbell of another house]
  • Michelangelo: O.K, the first guy didn't count. This is our REAL first step! [A Con man opens the door] Good Morning, sir! Would you like to buy some chocolate?
  • Con man: Chocolate bars, eh?
  • Michelangelo: Yes sir, we ARE chocolate bar salesmen!
  • Con man: You guys wanna be good salesmen, right?
  • Ninja Turtles: Oh, most certainly, sir!
  • Con man: Well, [chuckles] no self respecting candy bar salesman would be caught dead without one of these! [He holds up a bright-orange bag]
  • Michelangelo: Woooooooow... what is it?
  • Con man: It's a candy bar bag, you knuckle-head! It's specially designed to cradle each candy bar in velvet-lined comfort!
  • [Michelangelo tries to touch it]
  • Con man: [pulls bag away] BUT, I'm wasting my time. [Walks inside] You don't need these bags.
  • Ninja Turtles: We need 'em! We need 'em!
  • [The Con man grins, the scene changes to the Con man counting money. Ninja Turtles are walking away with armfuls of bags]
  • Con man: So long, boys! Happy hunting! [Laughs when the two aren't looking] Suckers... [walks back inside]
  • Ninja Turtles: [singing as they run off] Fancy livin', here we come! La la la la, la!
  • Michelangelo: Let's try next door!
  • [Michelangelo walks up and rings the doorbell with his foot, the same Con man comes out]
  • Con man: Yes?
  • Michelangelo: Huh? Say, weren't you the same guy who sold us these candy bar bags?
  • Con man: I... don't recall. But it looks to me like you fellas have got a lot of bags there. You two lady killers are too smart to be without one of my patented Candy Bar Bag Carrying Bags. [Holds up two large maroon bags]
  • Raphael: We'll take twenty.
  • [Scene changes to Michelangelo knocking on the door of a different house, Eileen comes out]
  • Eileen: Oh, what can I do for you, turtles?
  • Michelangelo: We're selling chocolate bars. Would you like to buy one?
  • Eileen: That sounds heavenly! I'll take one.
  • Michelangelo: One chocolate bar, coming up!
  • [Michelangelo pulls out a chocolate bar]
  • Michelangelo: I... got it! One chocolate bar for Eileen. Here you go.
  • (Michelangel gives the chocolate bar to Eileen)
  • Eileen: Thank you.
  • (Eileen goes back inside)
  • Michelangelo: Well, we did it. [Sees something off camera; it is revealed to be Benson, still screaming]
  • Benson: CHOCOLAAAAATE! CHOCOLAAAATE! CHOCOLAAAATE!
  • Michelangelo: Oh, no. [Benson chases Ninja Turtles again while screaming: "CHOCOLAAAATE!". The scene cuts to Ninja Turtles sitting in a diner] We're not doing so well, bros. We need a new approach, a new tactic.
  • Donatello: He said we were mediocre...
  • Michelangelo: That's it! He made us feel special! Why don't we try being nice?
  • Leonardo: Oh, okay.
  • [Scene changes to Ninja Turtles walking up to a customer's door]
  • Michelangelo: Remember bros, flatter the customer. Make him feel good.
  • [Leonardo knocks on the door, a customer opens the door]
  • Skips: Hello?
  • Leonardo: Hello, sir.
  • Michelangelo: Wanna buy some chocolate?
  • Skips: Sorry, chocolate has sugar and sugar turns to bubbling fat. As you can see, me and chocolate no longer hang. [Skips holds up a picture of an obese self at age 13] You can keep that for 5 bucks.
  • Leonardo: I'll take 10!
  • [Cut to Michelangelo with a sad look on his face walking, a sad song plays]
  • Michelangelo: We haven't sold one chocolate bar. I got a feeling that were too easily distracted.
  • [Cut to Leonardo staring at the pictures]
  • Leonardo: Huh?
  • [Far cut]
  • Michelangelo: [raising his fist] Let's make a pact right now that we will stay focused on selling at the next house.
  • Leonardo: [Removing pictures from his face] Huh?
  • Michelangelo: [Holding out his hand] Let's shake on it.
  • Leonardo: [Looking at Michelangelo confused] Did you say something?
  • [Cut to the other customer's house, Ninja Turtles are seen entering the view]
  • Michelangelo: Remember bros, focus.
  • [Cut to the door, Michelangelo knocks on it, customer answers]
  • Frank Smith: Yes?
  • Michelangelo: Good afternoon, sir, wanna buy some chocolate?
  • [Leonardo somehow moves up to the customer with his eyes going in and out back and forth]
  • Frank Smith: Why is Leonardo here staring at me?
  • [Cut to Leonardo's eyes]
  • Leonardo: Focusing.
  • [Cut to the inside of the customer's house]
  • Frank Smith: Back off, Jack!
  • [The customer slams the door on Leonardo's eyes, Patrick is heard saying "Oof!" from the other side of the door]
  • Leonardo: [Moving eyes around] Nice place you got in here.
  • Michelangelo: I can't understand what were doing wrong.
  • Donatello: I can't understand anything.
  • Michelangelo: There's something to this selling game were just not getting. Other people do it, I mean look at that!
  • [Cut to the sign]
  • Leonardo: [reading the sign] Eat Barbecue Chips, they're delicious.
  • [Cut to Ninja Turtles]
  • Michelangelo: They are most certainly not delicious!
  • Raphael: [smiling] Not the way I use them!
  • [Cut to SpongeBob]
  • Michelangelo: Yet they sell millions of bags a day!
  • [Cut to Leonardo]
  • Leonardo: Well, maybe if they didn't stretch the truth, they wouldn't sell as many.
  • [Cut to Ninja Turtles]
  • Michelangelo: [Happily] That's it, bros! We've gotta stretch the truth!
  • Benson: CHOCOLATE!!!!!!
  • [Ninja Turtles run off, cut to Ghost]
  • Michelangelo: We'll work as a team. Let me get this customer warmed up and you come in for the kill!
  • Leonardo: The kill!
  • [Hera answers]
  • Michelangelo: Hello, Hera. It's Ahsoka, Tiplee, Tiplar here?
  • Hera: Yes. Hera, Tiplee, Tiplar, chocloate is here.
  • (Ahsoka Tano, Tiplee and Tiplar arrives)
  • Ashoka Tano: Alight. Can you give us some chocolate?
  • Michelangelo: Here you go.
  • (Michelangelo gives chocolates to Hera, Ahosa, Tiplee and Tiplar)
  • Tiplar: Thank you.
  • Michelangelo: If we keep exaggerating the truth, we'll be fancy living in no time!
  • Leonardo: [Raising fist] Hooray for lying!
  • Michelangelo: It'll make your hair grow.
  • Eggscellent Waiter: Great! My wife's trying to grow a beard!
  • [Cut to Ninja Turtles, Leonardo has a sad face this time]
  • Michelangelo: It'll make you sound smart.
  • [Cut to the customer holding money]
  • Customer: [southern accent] I'll take 20!
  • [Cut to Raphael]
  • Raphael: Just in time.
  • [Cut to Ninja Turtles over and over]
  • Michelangelo: They'll make you fly!
  • Leonardo: You'll fall in love!
  • Michelangelo: They'll bring world peace!
  • Donatello: You'll walk through walls!
  • Michelangelo: [ecoing] You'll rule the world!!
  • [Cut to a door, Ninja Turtles are wrapped in casts. Cut close to Leonardo]
  • Leonardo: This'll be the best lie yet!
  • [Cut to Michelangelo]
  • Michelangelo: Yeah, this guy will feel sorry for us, he'll have to buy all of our chocolate!
  • [Customer opens door]
  • Customer: What can I do for you boys?
  • [Cut to Michelangelo]
  • Michelangelo: Hello, sir. Would you like to buy a chocolate bar? We need an operation.
  • Customer: Really? [Cut to the customer, who apparently is in a cast covering his entire body] Small world. What's the matter with you guys?
  • [Cut to Ninja Turtles, who are completely stunned]
  • Michelangelo: [nervously] Um, we've got some head trauma and internal bleeding.
  • [Cut to the customer]
  • Customer: Well, some guys have all the luck. [A violin begins] I was born with glass bones and paper skin. Every morning, I break my legs, and every afternoon, I break my arms. [Cut to Ninja Turtles, they both have faces meaning that they were about to cry] At night, [A tear runs down Michelangelo's cheek] I lay awake in agony until my heart attacks put me to sleep. [Cut to the customer, the wires snap] [About to fall] Oh, no... [A glass breaking sound is heard while the customer grunts while hitting the steps] [On the last step] Ow...
  • [Cut to Ninja Turtles]
  • Michelangelo: Come on, bros, let's help him! [Cut to the inside of Michelangelo's house. Ninja Turtles enter from the left] Careful, put him down gently.
  • [Leonardo drops the customer's head, a glass breaking sound is heard, cut close to the customer]
  • Customer: [In pain] Ow...!
  • [Cut to Michelangelo]
  • Michelangelo: Poor, poor man. Is there anything, anything we can do to help you?
  • [Cut to the customer]
  • Customer: Well, there is one thing...as you can imagine, my medical bills are extremely high, but luckily, I am able to keep myself alive by selling...chocolate bars. [gestures his head over to a massive stack of chocolate bar boxes. Bubbles come up and cut to the next scene. Cut to the customer looking out his window as Ninja Turtles walk by] Such nice boys, [far cut to the customer] it does my heart good to con a couple of Class A suckeroonies like those two! HA HA HA!!!
  • [Cut to a close-up of the customer laughing while looking at his cash, zipping his costume off to reveal himself as the Con Artist from earlier. Cut to the street]
  • Michelangelo: [grunting] Don't get me wrong, bros. It's great that we helped that guy out, but there's no one left in town to sell chocolate bars to. [Michelangelo makes another grunting noise, he trips up on a rock and falls, cut to Michaelangelo with a box flat on his face] Let's admit it, bros. We're failures.
  • Leonardo: [Walking in from the left] I can live with that. [Places box on Michelangelo's box and sits on it, making a small squeaking sound]
  • Michelangelo: Let's change our names to Why and Bother.
  • [Benson appears behind the box]
  • Benson: CHOCOLATE!!!!!!!! [Screams and knocks Ninja Turtles and the boxes over. Cuts to Ninja Turtles. Ninja Turtles babble]
  • Michelangelo: No! Don't hurt us. Please don't hurt me. No no. Pleaseeee.
  • Raphael: No! Don't hurt us, Benson. Please Spare Me!
  • [Cuts to Benson laughing manically]
  • Benson: Finally! I've been trying to catch you boys all day! Now that I got you right where I want you... [turns back to normal] I'd like to buy all your chocolate. [Holds up a large amount of cash. Cut to Ninja Turtles looking shocked, chocolate bars fall out of Patrick's shorts, along with a Hershey's kiss. Cut back to the five, Ninja Turtles melt]
  • Michelangelo: Thank you for your patronage.
  • Raphael: Are we living the fancy life yet, Mikey?
  • [Cut to the money in the barrel, Michelangelo pops out]
  • Michelangelo: Not yet, pally! First, we got to spend all the money.
  • [Cut to the four]
  • Raphael: But what are we going to spend it on?
  • [Cut to Ninja Turtles, Hera, Ahosa, Tiplee and Tiplar, Hera is seen holding a glass]
  • Michelangelo: So, how long have you two ladies known each other?
  • [End of Chocolate with Nuts]

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